I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
