He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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