using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
