she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
