conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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