She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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