Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
