I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
