What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
