there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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