Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
