I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
