Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
