ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
