I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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