Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
