Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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