took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
