You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
