He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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