I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
