You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
