i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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