I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
