I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Will exercising make me less horny?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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