Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize