so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
