who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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