I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
