I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
