What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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