How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
