So drunk, too bad you don't want this
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
