I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
