She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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