somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize