WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I have feelings that need drinking.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
