God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
