I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Can I color on your dick again?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I need a beard to bite.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
