talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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