I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Everyone says I win the strip club
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
