Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
