i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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