So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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