I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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