im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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