I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I need to sanitize my soul.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
