You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
