Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I touched a dick in church today
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
