Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize