They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
