I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
