Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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