(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
