I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
