happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
