So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize